Albus' Folly
by Cocagne19
Summary: 1k


**_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies_**

_Who the fuck would have thought a crackpot such as Trelawney would have made a true prophecy.. A search of hands, anyone? Certainly not I, no sir! I remember the harlot charlatan as a first year. Spouting "**prophecy**" to get a date. Or a glass of mead in the winter_.

**"A fair lady, clear of sight. Shall enter here, one snowy night. And every ear, shall hear her plead. And gift to her, one glass of mead"**

**Sybill Trelawney, 1973**, **Drunk as a skunk**

_Bah! The nerve of that girl! Disgraceful.. A stain on her ancestors' honour. Yet she got her mead, the sheep would not dare go against a prophecy. "Noooo, it is you, sir, that is being misled. Can you not see, this girl has the gift!". Sometimes I hate my job._

"The walk is very damaging to my health nowadays. Whoever thought it wise to lay cobblestones on the way to a bar, should be hanged. Drunk students falling over drunk villagers. It's an amazing view, that's for sure. And it's almost always those Gryffindors! No wonder Mcgonagall always looks like someone stole her stash of catnip!"

"Where was I.. Oh yes!" _That prophecy, it's terribly vague, so much so that one has to question Albus' sanity. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches, sounds clearcut, yep, let's wait for someone born at the very end of July.. Hmmm, it has to be a Brit as well.. Hmmm, and the "**one's**" parents has to be former students of mine, hmmm, yes. Westerners, so I know that they observe the Gregorian calendar._

"Did I lock the door when I left? Where the hell are those nitwits! I swear, it's not enough that I am saddled with that arsehole as a brother! Mother must be rolling in her grave! He must be on something. Just look at what he's always wearing. Those robes are just terrible! Really, Albus, no wonder people think you're on drugs!"

"89, 90.. Fucking steps! Probably Slytherin's idea of passive torture.. Bloody Hell, my knees are killing me!" _Brings me to that other line, born to **those** who have thrice defied him, who exactly are "**those**"? Many have defied that bastard, by living, breathing, thriving! Some muggleborn even succeeding in a world where their blood has to be "pure". Albus Dumbledore is a Half-blood, yet he defies Voldemort and his agenda by having so much sway over wizarding matters!_

"For all we know, the Dumbledore family, having defied Voldemort and the Pureblood agenda, could be "**those**"."

_What are they doing, are they.. TALKING! Did I just waste my fucking morning, coming up those bloody steps just to watch these fucktards YAPPING AWAY? No, nay I say! I have more important things to do, than listening to that nincompoops have wand measuring contests!_

"Tom, if you call my mother that despicable word again, you shall have a very upset wizard to contend with!" _I hear a voice say._

_Really? People are getting way too soft if simple words are upsetting them! Why, were it me, I would have just ignored the bas-"_ **Kendra Dumbledore was a whoring slu**-" slink! _THUMP! _

" What THE FUCK! Who did that!" _I hear Potter scream.. Then I hear the screeching of a wraith escaping a ruined body_.. "You bastard! Do you know what you have done! Who the hell gave you the right to kill him!" _the incessant shouting of a dullard!_

"Aberforth you idiot! Tom made horcruxes, we had to destroy them all before he could be killed! Now, for all we know he'll find out some are missing when the Death Eaters do another ritual to restore him!" _Ah, the educated Dumbledore, his magnificence the Chief Whorelock himself!_

" What the fuck is a horcrux!? And why should I let that bastard go about calling MY MOTHER names! "

" He doesn't even understand the enormity, sir! " _I hear the scarred little chit say._

_Oh! Oh no! A Dumbledore that didn't go to school, a disgrace, he doesn't understand the silly words we give spells and artifacts_!

" A horcrux, Aberforth! You remember you used **_LOVE_** to visit Egypt to watch the goblins dig them up.. and subsequently get killed by them!"

"He made a soul container! What a cry baby!" _I say... By this time, the wraith has completely escaped its magically constructed body._

"Well, we can't have that. This has to be the origin soul, right? Let's see.."

**AVRA KEDAVRA!**

"**What!** Sir, your brother just cast the killing curse!" _the dullard said. Really, no clue about true magic but thinks he's the "**one**". Idiot_

"No, my boy" _Albus gasps_ "That's a transfiguration spell, the complete opposite to the killing curse, it creates instead of destroys. Aberforth just made a container for the wraith" "_**the "Transfiguration prodigy**" says. Pfffft_

_I started to ignore their yapping and prepared my magic to cast a spell I haven't used since 1905. I am the only one here, besides my pill popping brother and that dark skinned Slytherin boy, with sufficient Italian blood to safely cast this. Though, only Albus knows of this spell. The amount of conceited bravado needed to cast it, is enormous. My poor balls will __surely__ be dragging after this!_

**VAFFANCULO!**

"Aberforth, No!"

"What sir, what does that spell do?"

"I'm sorry my boy, I can't tell you. It's very dark magic, I want you to never try to cast it. It won't work for you, it will simply just take your manhood! Promise me, my boy!" _Albus, always so melodramatic. Are those, tears!? Of all the marshmallow soft shit I've seen!_

" How could you kill Voldemort's wraith sir? I thought I was the only one that could do it." _Potter ask me_

" Not just the wraith, boy. Every piece of soul that belongs to the dark twat, is destroyed"

"How, Aberforth, surely you are not implying that you are the prophecied one! You weren't born at the end of July, and our parents were way before Tom Riddle's time. So what could make you the one to vanquish him?" _Ah, the self assurance of a cunt._

"Albus, what cause did Voldemort and his prancing princesses stand for?"

"They are 'Anti-Muggle' and 'Pro Magical'" Albus answers.

"And what, Albus, are our blood status? Half-blood, right. Yet we are at the top percentile in terms of power. And you hold more power over the Purebloods, thereby.."

"Defying their cause. I understand, but you are not from me Aberforth, you aren't born to my blood" silly linear thinking twat

"No where in the prophecy does it say, the prophecied one is the child of " **those**" who defied him, idiot. Though, I was born of the same house of "**those**" who defied him by having powerful non pureblood children. **Albus**, **Aberforth** and **Ariana**. Three children, **Thrice**, **Dreimal, Tre Volte!**"

"Fine, perhaps that could be thought of falling in line with the prophecy, but then what about born as the seventh month dies. You were born in September, the nint-

" Roman Calendar, you fuckwit."

"Er.." _the mind of an educator.._


End file.
